And so I'm going to be ...

A father! My lovely wife is due in February this year. I'm ecstatic, notwithstanding the haggard looks on the face of my friends with newborns and the smirks of those parents who see my enthusiasm and know my future child will mock me for my arrogance. 

You fool! My master plan is coming to fruition and you will be too tired to realise it! 

Now my wife has decided to tell everyone I'm getting advice on names - funny that everyone thinks their own name is awesome.

At least unless I am speaking to one of those unusually named people - all of which are giving me horror stories of having a unique or near unique name.

The horror, the horror....

So Hubert or Beatrice it is, right? I'm bet those names will be wildly popular in the future.